Societal standards and milestones are indicators that we are making good progress in our lives. However, most of the milestones we strive to reach were placed on us by society making us feel anxious about our place in our lives so far. To ease some of the stress, here are seven milestones that you don’t need to worry about achieving during the early years of your life:
1. Having a college education: Many jobs look for college graduates to apply for their entry level positions. However there is another valuable thing that overrules having a degree and that is to have experience. The more experience the better.
There are also other options aside from going to university or college such as trade, technical, and vocational schools for the field you desire.
These days a lot of college graduates are finding it difficult to break into the job market and one of the reasons is for a lack of experience in the field they are applying to. Having a degree doesn’t guarantee a job however having experience and required skills might certainly give you the upper hand in finding one.
Using your time wisely during the years it takes to earn a degree by learning useful high value skills that will help you earn the job or internship you desire.
2. Working in your dream job or a stable 9-5 corporate job: Having a job that lights you up with passion or brings you financial stability certainly is something to be proud of. However it’s alright if you don’t have one or the other. Or even neither of them. It’s alright if you aren’t passionate about your current job. Or if you are still looking for a full time job.
The truth is, jobs are available in all forms and whichever one you have whether it’s freelance, part-time, work study, self employment, entrepreneurship or commissions- they are all adding up in your skills and expertise for any future opportunities that will come your way.
And if you are unemployed, it’s alright to get help in order to get by, whether its by collecting your unemployment checks or relying on your savings.
It’s okay to take time off and rest before you are employed again.
3. Knowing how to drive or owning a car: If you live in a densely populated area such as the city with multiple choices for public transportation, knowing how to drive or owning a car should be the least of your worries. As long as you have the expenses for public transport or private drivers such as taking an Uber, you won’t have to worry about having even larger expenses if you had a car to pay off and maintain.
4. Owning a house: Having your own private space to live would be nice. However owning a house also comes with many expensive additional prices such as keeping up with maintenance. With paying off your house, having maintenance work done, and also paying for property tax- if your income and budgeting skills aren’t up to par you may have trouble keeping up with all of the fees therefore classifying you as someone who is house poor.
Not only that, having a house will also come with other difficulties such as dealing with the HOA or only being able to take jobs that are close by your house.
By renting, you have the freedom to live and work wherever you please. You don’t have to pay or plan for maintenance and it can be fixed quickly just by making a claim the right landlord or faculty.
Even living with your parents is fine.
By doing so you save on living expenses including rent and food if you live in a collective household where everyone takes care of each other.
5. Being married or having a significant partner: It’s certainly alright if marriage and finding a partner is not in your top priorities in your life at the moment. Or ever! It is always your choice if you want to look for a healthy romantic relationship that will lead to marriage or not.
In fact, it’s perfectly fine if you are your own top priority instead. If you want to stay independent and enjoy life while learning more about yourself as you live, that’s more than okay.
You shouldn’t feel pressured to marry or hurry and find someone to date just because everyone else is coupled up. If you feel secure in yourself about not having a partner that is all that matters.
6. Having kids: Choosing to have kids is a big decision. You are choosing to become a parent who will financially and emotionally support this child until they reach adulthood or even beyond. Again, you shouldn’t be pressured to have kids because everyone around you is having them or telling you to do so- even if they are your partner!
This is a decision that cannot be redone once you have chosen to have kids. If you have any doubt or think you will regret becoming a parent, it is best to spend more time thinking about the decision overall .
You may choose to have a child to born into this world, but that child didn’t have the choice if they wanted to be born or which family they wanted to live with.
Do you have the financial means to support this child? Do you have a good, stable environment you can raise them in? With you be able to have the patience and emotional maturity to parent them? Can you handle being overstimulated by constant touching and yelling? Do you have a good support system to help you in times of need when you feel like you will burn out from parenting? Do you have the time to show up for your child when they need you? Will you be able to respect their autonomy when they develop their own personality and identity as an individual and as their own person?
If you answered no to any of those questions. Please rethink the decision of if you really want to have a child or more.
It’s alright if you want to be child free. It’s also alright if you choose to have kids later than others.
7.Having a wide social circle: Having multiple friends is nice. Having groups of friends is also nice! But it is also perfectly fine if you do not have a friend group.
It’s fine to have one or two close friends instead. It’s fine to be selective of who you let into your inner circle and be vulnerable with. You do not need to have multiple friends if you do not want to.
There is also nothing wrong with you if you don’t have many friends. It’s also okay if you prefer to spend your time alone without having to worry about any body else.